I am on a train from Yorkshire to London after attending a family funeral. A man boards the train at the second stop and makes his way slowly along the aisle. He stops next to where I am sitting, takes out his ticket, looks at it and then at the seat next to me. He remains standing awkwardly for a second or two longer and then sits down next to me. He shows me his ticket and apologises. I tell him that it is the seat assigned to him on his ticket, so he is perfectly entitled to sit in it (though it’s true that we are slightly encroaching on each other’s personal space).
The train pulls out of the station. My neighbour looks around and I follow his gaze and see that there is an unoccupied table just behind us. A few moments pass and I sense pent-up agitation in him. Finally he gets up and apologetically asks if I mind if he goes and sits at the empty table. Not that we have bonded or exchanged a single word during the three or four minutes we have been sitting next to each other. I tell him that it makes perfect sense for him to sit there as he will get a whole table to himself. Obviously if I had been offended at him sitting next to me I would be delighted at him subsequently moving away - and vice versa - so at least one of his apologies was unnecessary, as both his actions couldn’t have offended me. In any case the only social interaction we have engaged in so far is him apologising to me and me telling him that it’s okay.
He moves over to the table and I am half tempted to get up and join him there to see if this occasions a further apology from either of us. But of course I don’t.
A couple of hours later, as we arrive at our final destination, I have totally forgotten about the incident. I see the man unloading a suitcase from the luggage rack. He catches my eye and apologises again, though I am not sure which of his previous social transgressions he is referencing. Perhaps he is now apologising for getting off at the same stop as me.
Being English is so complicated.
🤣 That sound like a scenario right out of a Rob Temple Very British Problems book!
He too used to write for The Telegraph…